Blogging

I read over all my old blog's from blogger and xanga. Starting with junior year and "It's my 17th birthday soon!" I know I had a good amount of blogging from before that which I removed from the internet because my parents had the address, and I didn't really think about the possibility of them reading it. I don't know where all that crap is, but it's somewhere. I wish I could find that again. Blogging is so weird. I know everyone who's reading this probably knows what I mean. You can't not consider that people are reading it. I still sometimes think my parents might be able to see this blog because I looked at it a couple of times when I was home for Christmas. I don't want them to read it. I don't involve them in my life too much. I started talking to my mom more during the summer, because she knew she would miss me this year. Sometimes I think the image of my life I portray to my parents is a lie. Sometimes I think everything I show everyone else is a lie. It's just more true when I'm around my friends, because of my "unresponsible" habits, like drinking. I think my mom knows I drink some, I forget what I told her. Speaking of lying + alcohol... I never tell the whole truth to the doctor either. Binge drinking is considered 4 drinks a night. I still have not admitted (to the doctor) to drinking more than that, when clearly, I do. Doctors just don't think you can take care of yourself, ever. A while ago, my doctor thought I was anorexic because I started running and lost weight. I could never be anorexic. I love food too much.